I get lots of emails from individuals who really feel burdened by a secret they’re retaining from a major different. Typically these secrets and techniques are about dishonest, however not all the time. Typically they’re about making use of for jobs in different cities or having been married earlier than or having an STI. There have even been a number of individuals who had secret youngsters they hadn’t advised their companions about. In my very own social circle, I’ve a number of associates who preserve fairly innocuous secrets and techniques from their spouses, like taking secret days off from work to have an entire “me day” with out feeling responsible about it (these are mothers, clearly, who play hooky whereas their spouses are at work and their youngsters are at college or daycare). I’ve recognized individuals who have common lunch dates with exes and don’t inform their present companions as a result of they don’t wish to take care of the jealousy.
Have you ever stored a secret from a major different? Did you (or would you) ever share the key? Why did/do you retain the key?
(This submit was initially printed in 2017).