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(Editor’s Be aware, this letter was written earlier than Doc’s demise in August, 2020 however nonetheless related as Doc’s rules are timeless).
VERY disrespectful to his girlfriend – do not make the identical error he did…
Hey Doc,
I’m not certain whether or not I’m overanalyzing my relationship or not, however right here goes.
I’ve been relationship Amanda for 12 months and a half. At first we have been nonetheless relationship different folks and conserving our choices open. I loved relationship different girls, however I knew that I actually solely needed thus far Amanda. However I by no means instructed her that I solely needed thus far her. I stayed mysterious, saved her Curiosity Stage excessive, and in the long run we agreed to be unique.
After six months, Amanda requested me if I beloved her. I used to be utterly caught off guard by the query and received very nervous and felt trapped. I believed possibly it was a trick query. Amanda then instructed me that she was in love with me. After hesitating, I answered that I did love her. From that night time on, we inform one another that we love each other on a regular basis. I contemplate what we now have to be a critical relationship and I see the potential for it to evolve as time goes on.
Right here’s the issue. I’ve just a few previous pals who occur to be feminine and my girlfriend likes them. Nevertheless, she will get uncomfortable if I’m going to hang around with any of them. For instance, I had a marriage to go to and Amanda was out of city so I requested certainly one of my feminine pals to go along with me. Amanda mentioned she was uncomfortable with me taking one other lady, even when she was an harmless previous pal. I brushed it off, took my pal to the marriage and had a good time. This led to a very massive combat afterwards between Amanda and me.
The whole lot is ok now, however I’m wondering if I ought to haven’t taken my pal to this wedding ceremony. Ought to I’ve cared extra about Amanda being uncomfortable? Is she jealous as a result of she does not belief me? I hate to compromise my freedom in any means. What ought to I do?
Bugs – who is actually confused
There are tons of of movies on Doc’s YouTube Channel – listed below are the newest ones:
10/4/2023 – How To Speak To Girls Successfully (Courting Girls Radio Present Episode 12)
10/7/2023 – Give Her House To Create Attraction (Courting Girls Radio Present Episode 13)
10/11/2023 – He is Solely A “Good friend???”(Courting Girls Radio Present Episode 14)
10/14/2023 – On-line Courting Technique + Doc Guide Bonus (Courting Girls Radio Present Episode 15)
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Hello Bugs,
I’m actually glad you’re overanalyzing your relationship or assume you could be! As a result of not less than you’re analyzing it. Most guys NEVER analyze what they’re doing with girls. They simply wing it, see what occurs and after they undergo the pangs of rejection, they are saying to themselves “Gee, I’m wondering what occurred?” And naturally rejection is precisely what occurs after they don’t observe my program.
It’s additionally nice that you just by no means instructed Amanda that you just needed thus far solely her. I need the lady to inform you she needs to be unique, and never the opposite means round. If you lastly agreed to be unique, who introduced it up, her otherwise you? I hope it was Amanda.
As an alternative of admitting to Amanda that you just beloved her, you need to have mentioned, “Honey, how do I deal with you?” After which you need to have added, “Child, I’m solely seeing you, so you understand how I really feel about you.” That’s all she would have wanted to know.
However now you two are all the time telling one another that you just love each other. That’s means an excessive amount of, pal. There may be completely no Problem in repeating, “I really like you” again and again to a girl like a parrot. If you do this, there can by no means EVER be something new about you sooner or later. Like my cousin Physician Love says, “Each time you say I really like you to a woman, you give away the shop.” However whenever you deal with a woman such as you love her and don’t inform her, that’s the essence of Problem and conserving that lady all in favour of you for 100 years.
YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!)
Your girlfriend will not be telling you the reality about liking your feminine pals, Bugs. If she likes them, why is she upset about you going to a marriage with certainly one of them? You simply contradicted your self, my pal. That mentioned, it was an enormous mistake to ask a feminine pal to go along with you to this operate. You’re going with Amanda, so that you don’t take different girls out. And I don’t care if the opposite lady is only a pal.
However let’s say Amanda is fallacious about this. Let’s say this lady you took to the marriage means nothing in anyway to you and Amanda is making a stink over nothing. If Amanda is nice in each different space, you must GIVE. This isn’t the time to face as much as her. Or like my cousin Common Love says, “This isn’t one thing you wish to go to battle over, soldier.” Amanda could be insecure, however you must let her have this one as a result of she’s a winner in every single place else.
However you didn’t do this. Like my cousin Quick Eddie Love In East LA says, “You dug in and stood your floor when it didn’t imply a factor!” And then you definately had an enormous combat. Was it price it?
Give it some thought: you’re going with Amanda, you’re supposedly in love together with her, however you present up at a marriage with one other lady. What if there have been different folks there who knew Amanda? You realize they’re going to get again to her with all types of sticky questions: “How come you didn’t present up on the wedding ceremony?” “How come your boyfriend introduced that different lady as an alternative of you?” These are the sorts of questions that can trigger you actual hassle.
The whole lot isn’t superb now, dude. Amanda is resentful and also you’ve damage her. You shouldn’t have taken the opposite lady to the marriage. In fact you need to have anxious about Amanda being uncomfortable as a result of she’s the one who counts, the opposite lady is only a pal. This entire factor has nothing to do with belief. When a woman is in love with a man, she doesn’t need him going to a marriage with any person else. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “It’s simply not kosher.” Easy as that.
For those who don’t wish to compromise your freedom in any means, drop Amanda proper now and overlook girls.
What do you have to do? Go to Amanda; inform her you’ve thought it out, and that you just’ve come to the conclusion that what you probably did was disrespectful. Clarify to her that you just didn’t know what you have been considering, and that it’ll by no means occur once more.
Bear in mind, guys: whenever you’re in love with a woman, don’t take different ladies out.
