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(Editor’s Be aware, this letter was written earlier than Doc’s demise in August, 2020 however nonetheless related as Doc’s ideas are timeless).
(He FROZE and blew it along with her by saying one thing he actually did not imply and is now kicking himself over it – Doc will reveal four magic phrases that would have helped him…learn on…)
Hey Doc,
I’ve learn your articles and realized quite a bit from what you must say. I used to be married for 10 years and my first spouse divorced me somewhat over a yr in the past, in order you may need guessed I’m actually uncertain of myself with regards to girls.
Nevertheless, there’s an exquisite lady at work I’m actually drawn to. I’m so nervous round Krista that I can barely handle to say howdy. It seems that she apparently feels — or ought to I say felt — the identical method about me, as a result of I heard via the grapevine that she thought I used to be sizzling. I used to be skeptical at first, however then she began me and complimenting me. All of the indicators of curiosity had been there, which was nice.
However someday she caught me off guard. She got here into my workplace and tried to flirt somewhat and I simply froze. I suppose she wished to know the place she stood with me, and so she got here out and requested. I advised her, fairly bluntly, I wasn’t . She simply mentioned “Okay,” and walked away.
I felt like I had been kicked within the intestine, as a result of I knew I had made an enormous mistake. After all, the tip result’s that now after I see Krista she’s as chilly as ice. For a couple of month afterwards, she wouldn’t even smile when she handed me within the corridor. All I received was both a damage and indignant stare, or she acted like she didn’t care in any respect. This virtually killed me inside.
Doc, this isn’t what I wished! I do know I used to be silly, I do know I wasn’t considering, however I solely wished Krista to again off somewhat — I didn’t need her to show into the queen of ice! I do know I damage her emotions, however I do know she nonetheless feels some sort of attraction to me as a result of I’ve caught her me from a distance.
We do say “good morning” to one another now, and generally she’ll smile. I’d prefer to say extra, however I don’t know what to say. Each time I work up the nerve to even stand in the identical room along with her, there’s simply this awkward, uncomfortable pressure. I don’t wish to seem like an fool by appearing after I mentioned I wasn’t. I imply, wouldn’t that make me look weak? However, don’t I’ve the appropriate to vary my thoughts? How would a man utilizing “The System” flip this guarded woman again into the pleasant admirer she as soon as was? Can it’s performed?
Deron – who’s afraid he blew it for good
There are a whole bunch of movies on Doc’s YouTube Channel – this is the newest one:
9/6/2023: Doc thought that it was nonsense when guys would say that they did not get anyplace along with her as a result of she was “shy.” – watch it right here
Hello Deron,
In case your spouse divorced you over a yr in the past, and also you’re acquainted with my articles, why haven’t you memorized the Relationship Dictionary? Why the time lag? I received it — you have to be trying to get dumped once more earlier than you lastly clever up.
So, you heard about Krista’s curiosity in you thru the grapevine. How have you learnt that the folks within the grapevine don’t hate your guts? Like my cousin Quick Eddie Love says “These folks within the grapevine are all candy and good and every part, however don’t overlook that certainly one of them needs to be a blocker!”
You need to by no means undergo third events. You’re alleged to be like James Bond. Shut your mouth. No one within the workplace ought to know a factor about your private life.
However let’s transfer on to your greater downside. When all of the indicators of curiosity had been there from Krista, why didn’t you simply say to her, “BY THE WAY, WHAT’S YOUR PHONE NUMBER?”
This woman didn’t catch you off guard, Deron. You’re ALWAYS off guard. Like my cousin Physician Love says, “When she’s inside 10 toes of you, you’re mush!”
Dude, when this woman comes into your workplace looking for out while you’re going to ask her to Starbucks for espresso, ask for the telephone quantity BEFORE you freeze up. To you Psych majors, putting first all the time provides you the ability within the state of affairs.
YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!)
I do know “The System” is extremely advanced and it’s onerous to recollect to ask for the telephone quantity, however that’s what you must do. Don’t inform her you’re not , man. Do you notice that when she mentioned, “Okay” and walked away that you just simply rejected a lady you had been tremendous drawn to? And also you mentioned you realized quite a bit from studying my articles? You simply advised a a lady you actually wished to take a hike! Are you positive you learn the appropriate articles? You suppose you made an enormous mistake? You’re being well mannered! And like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “What it is best to have additionally realized because you’re working with this woman is that you just’re going to must see her each day when it goes dangerous.”
You didn’t really need Krista to again off somewhat. Dude, she was speaking to you. She was complimenting you. She was doing every part proper however you couldn’t mumble the phrases “What’s your telephone quantity?” As a result of that’s too difficult, a lot too onerous to do. However you possibly can discover the appropriate phrases to inform her to get misplaced, proper? You might provide you with negatives and put-downs, couldn’t you? And also you damage her emotions when you possibly can have simply mentioned What’s your telephone quantity?
You may not have wished to show Krista into an ice queen, however what did you count on? She was supplying you with all types of Curiosity Stage, however what you probably did in response wasn’t a Problem – it was stupidity. You advised her to get misplaced. Now you’re calling her a “guarded woman.” What you imply is REJECTED LADY.
In the event you’re actually, actually fortunate, and this woman by some means misinterpreted your slap within the face as Problem, then you definately nonetheless must stroll as much as her and say “Hear, what’s your telephone quantity?” We all know you don’t know what to say, Deron. So right here’s a line you may strive: “What’s your telephone quantity?”
There ought to be awkward pressure between the 2 of you now since you don’t know the place you stand. Krista preferred you as soon as upon a time, however now you don’t know if there’s any hope left otherwise you’re simply making your self look extra silly. Overlook about showing weak, Deron. What you must fear about is whether or not this woman nonetheless has a minimum of 51% Curiosity Stage and whether or not you may convey it again up. Man, it by no means makes you look weak to ask for the quantity. However you’re involved about altering your thoughts. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “What are you, fickle?”
I don’t know if you may get this one again, Deron, particularly the best way you’re working. Vegas would say the chances are 20 to 1. Good luck.
Keep in mind, guys: when your thoughts goes clean and your arms sweat, simply power out these 4 magic phrases: “What’s your telephone quantity?”
