17th April 2024

Should you’ve already learn when to the touch a woman, that is the follow-up and explains the best way to contact a woman with out creeping her out. 

Contact is likely one of the most crucial features of seduction. It’s important for males who suck at speaking or are flirtatiously challenged. 

The great thing about contact is that you would be able to say with a squeeze, tickle, poke, brush or caress, what a novel’s price of phrases can not. 

This information is a newbie’s information. It’s about the best way to contact a woman you simply met, or are on a primary date with. 

A man and woman holding hands and sitting on some steps outside

I used to be in a hostel in Mexico, sitting on a decrease bunk mattress when a shocking German woman, about 24 years outdated, blonde hair, entered the room. 

I stated, “Hello there.” 

“Hiya.” She replied. 

I motioned her to return nearer and tapped on my mattress. She sat down. I requested her if she had simply arrived in Mexico. She advised me she was in herbology, and power therapeutic. I had a sore knee, from an damage, and she or he began her Reiki therapeutic on it. 

I seemed into her fairly eyes, she smiled, so I reached out, pulled her in and hugged her. We lay down on the mattress, gazing one another’s faces, and commenced to speak extra. 

After this she turned my lover. Not till a couple of days later once we had our second date, however that’s the way it began. 

It was the contact that made it occur. Not the phrases, however the lack of them. 

I was a horrible insecure fiddle girls. I might barely communicate to at least one with out having a full-blown panic assault. And touching them? Neglect about it. 

However I used to be decided to grasp the artwork of seduction. And all of the masters stated that the delicate artwork of touching a lady is the key sauce. 

I made it a degree so as to add a light-weight contact to each particular person I spoke with. 

I began by including extra physicality to my approaches. 

  • A faucet on the shoulder
  • A handshake
  • A hug
  • A squeeze on the wrist
  • A two-cheek kiss (french or Latin fashion)

Not simply with lovely girls, however with anyone I might, till touching individuals and being touched again felt regular. 

A man and woman in a romantic tent cuddling

In a 2004 examine, a 20-year-old male approached a number of hundred younger girls and requested for his or her cellphone numbers underneath the pretext of calling them later for a drink. 1

In a single check group, he added a light-weight contact whereas within the different he didn’t. The outcomes had been stunning. 

He obtained 10% compliance from the non-touch group, and 19.2% from the contact group. That may be a 92% improve in compliance, just by including a light-weight contact. 

A chart showing the impact of a light touch on compliance rates. Touch wins

Contact is confirmed to reveal dominance and better standing, that are very engaging traits to girls. 

For some purpose, Western males undergo essentially the most from Notouchitis. 

Notouchitis: When one is averse to touching one other human being, particularly a lady. 

I’ve been to almost thirty nations, and it’s solely in English talking Western nations that we’re so bizarre about contact. 

In Latin America, individuals greet one another with a kiss on the cheek. 

Touching a woman you simply met ought to really feel pure, and never bizarre or creepy. This mindset is extra your downside than hers. Should you suppose consensually touching a lady is mistaken, then it’s time to vary your thoughts. 

An artistic painting of a man and woman holding hands looking at each other with energy swirling around them

Mirror neurons are actual and liable for emotional state transference, which implies no matter you’re feeling, she feels.

So in case you really feel it’s creepy to the touch her, she’ll sense it and in addition really feel creepy. Should you really feel it’s fully regular, so will she. 

Watch your ideas and by no means let negativity run the present. It doesn’t assist. 

Should you’re harassed about creeping ladies out with contact, you’re not alone. Many males stress about this.

How can we not fear about it once we’re consistently bombarded with anti-male #metoo cancel tradition propaganda? 

I don’t pay a lot thoughts to the net narrative. There’s nothing creepy or bizarre about wanting to attach with and contact lovely girls. 

We’re males, that’s what we’re alleged to do. However we have to do it skillfully in order that the ladies need us to the touch them. Girls are starved for correct romance. Let’s give it to them. 

Tough vs clean contact approach 

A latin man and latin woman touching their foreheads together and smiling

The issue is roughness. Most younger or inexperienced guys aren’t clean. With girls, we wish to be clean… and changing into clean takes follow.   

To get from being horrible at touching individuals to being pure, charming and clean could take a couple of months of effort or extra. However when you’re clean it would really feel such as you all the time had been. 

Now I’ll offer you a couple of tricks to come throughout much less creepy, and extra easily when touching a woman. 

Don’t have a look at your fingers (Premeditation) 

All the things within the seduction course of ought to really feel within the second, spontaneous, or in “The Now.” 

Should you contact her on the shoulder and have a look at your fingers, it’s bizarre as a result of it appears premeditated. 

In easy phrases, “premeditated” refers to one thing that’s deliberate fairly than spontaneous, which makes touching appear unnatural, or creepy. 

Despite the fact that you’re taking motion and making an attempt to manifest extra girls into your life by means of contact, it could’t appear that means.

Should you’re taking a look at her rings, or studying her palm, then clearly you’re going to be taking a look at your fingers. 

However every time doable, simply contact her whereas holding eye contact, as if it’s not large deal and also you’re only a touchy-feely man, and never some pickup artist making an attempt to hypnotize her. 

Don’t lean In 

Go to any nightclub and watch amateurs making an attempt to choose up girls. They method after which lean all around the poor ladies. 

You’ll see the ladies leaning away from these guys, making an attempt to sign how uncomfortable they’re. But, the fellows simply lean in additional and additional till the ladies are nearly mendacity down on the sticky dance flooring. 

As a substitute, lean again. You possibly can nonetheless use contact however simply don’t lean throughout her. It’s bizarre, and appears determined and amateurish. 

Don’t sniff her 

For fucks sake, until you wish to be like Joe Biden, don’t sniff her. And don’t inform her how good she smells. Not till you’re already sleeping collectively. It’s simply bizarre. 

On the girl’s physique, you’ve got erogenous and non-erogenous zones. 

You wish to begin by touching the non-erogenous zones, after which transfer on up the escalation ladder. 

Often, this occurs slowly, nevertheless it actually relies on the scenario. Should you’re assembly a lady in a steamy nightclub issues can go quick. In most daytime conditions, you’ll begin with gentle contact within the non-erogenous zones. 

So DO NOT go round grabbing girls’s asses earlier than saying hey. Sure, there are a couple of social retards who learn my weblog. 

Erogenous Zones:

Erogenous zones have heightened sensitivity and might result in sexual arousal when touched. These zones are densely filled with nerve endings.

Examples: The lips, neck, ears, decrease again, inside thighs, breasts, and butt. Nonetheless, sensitivity can fluctuate drastically from individual to individual.

Contact in these areas is extra intimate and is usually related to later phases of a relationship. The later stage could possibly be ten minutes, to a number of days after the primary meet. 

Non-Erogenous Zones:

Non-erogenous zones are elements of the physique which have a much less direct connection to sexual arousal however are nonetheless necessary for emotional bonding and luxury.

Examples: Fingers, arms, shoulders, and the higher again are generally thought of non-erogenous zones. Touching right here reveals affection, consolation, and curiosity with out speedy sexual implications.

Contact in these areas may be extra informal early in a relationship. It may be used to precise curiosity, construct rapport, and improve consolation.

There are a lot of methods to the touch a woman to construct attraction. I’ll present you a couple of of them. 


The silihouette of a man and woman together romantically near a lake at sunset

Do you know you possibly can hug nearly anybody? Most individuals love hugs. 

Simply have a look at all these individuals with cardboard indicators on each road nook giving out “Free hugs.” 

Personally, I don’t discover hugs to be very seductive or flirtatious. However, they’re enjoyable. So with ladies that you just like, use hugs sparingly. 

Excessive fives

The high-five is a basic contact approach. The applying is straightforward. You simply maintain up your hand and say “Excessive 5?” 

Whereas the excessive 5 could appear juvenile, it nonetheless initiates contact and shares a very good vibe. 

Thumb wars 

1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb battle. 

It’s one other juvenile recreation to provoke touching a woman, nevertheless it works. Foolish video games are good on the whole as they’re enjoyable, flirtatious, and intimate however not too intimate. 


You might not wish to tickle a stranger until you want being punched. Nonetheless, if in case you have even the slightest quantity of rapport, tickling a woman may be completely hilarious. 

Simply don’t tickle somebody who doesn’t wish to be tickled. And it’s not a transfer you bust out on a complete stranger. 

Palm studying

Palm studying combines chilly studying with contact, and a touch of the magical. 

Whereas it could appear tacky, it gives an awesome excuse for touching her fingers, in addition to making insightful or humorous feedback. 

Analyzing her jewelry

If she’s carrying rings you possibly can ask “Can I see your ring?” This can be a nice excuse for just a little little bit of touching. 

You are able to do the identical with necklaces and earrings. 

Trying out tattoos 

If she has tattoos you possibly can ask her what they imply, after which contact them. Most individuals love speaking about their physique artwork, so it’s an effective way to get some contact, in addition to be taught extra about her persona and values. 


Handshakes aren’t that seductive but when it’s the very best you’ve obtained, then go for it. Simply maintain out your hand. Most girls will perceive this common greeting. 

This isn’t a intercourse information. However I’ll focus on how one can contact girls close to their erogenous zones in a completely consensual means. 

A man lifting a woman looking into her eyes

Incidental Contact 

Incidental contact is once you contact somebody with out which means to. Like once you unintentionally brush her knees with yours underneath the desk, or she leans into you to keep away from being splashed by a passing automotive within the rain. 

Incidental contact may flip instantly sexual, and grow to be non-incidental

For instance, in case you’re on a dance flooring and also you pull her shut, your erect penis could press towards her thigh or groin. 

This may be very thrilling for each of you. She could even flip round, and press her ass up towards your member, which would seem as incidental when it’s not. 

Non-Incidental Contact

Non-incidental contact is once you intentionally contact somebody. It could possibly be a hug, a handshake, or a pat on the shoulder. 

It may be explicitly sexual, as in a make-out, or some other contact on an erogenous zone, just like the breasts, inside thighs, or lips. 

Everybody begins as a newbie. I do know many males, and some girls, who aren’t snug touching somebody they simply met. 

Nonetheless, if you wish to date a woman, you might want to contact the woman. 

Whereas the time period “newbie” refers to ability degree, it additionally refers back to the begin of a relationship, whereas superior additionally means the later phases of a relationship. 

You might be questioning the best way to contact a woman for a date, or a pickup, and never a relationship. However all relationships begin with some form of pickup anyway. 

Newbie Contact 

  • A agency handshake, held a couple of seconds longer to convey heat and confidence 
  • Heartfelt hugs for greeting or saying goodbye
  • A light-weight contact on her arm or elbow, to intensify factors of dialog or direct her consideration
  • Excessive fives to intensify the feelings moments in dialog. Additionally low fives. 
  • Fist bumps 
  • Light Arm Guides: When strolling collectively, a light-weight contact on the again or arm can information her by means of the door or in a crowd
  • Playful hip bumps: Contact your hip to hers in a “bump” movement. Greatest used on dancefloors however enjoyable anytime
  • Arm in arm: You possibly can provide her your arm and she or he holds your elbow or loops her arm by means of yours. It’s much less intimate than holding fingers 
  • Pleasant Elbow Nudges: Throughout a dialog, a nudge could be a playful approach to emphasize a degree or share a personal joke
  • Evaluating top: Stand along with your again to hers and make jokes about how brief, or tall she is 
  • Holding fingers may be very intimate. Nonetheless, it’s not superior. You possibly can maintain fingers with any woman even in case you simply met

Superior Contact :

  • Placing your hand on her knees, legs or thighs. Often when sitting collectively. 
  • Sitting shut sufficient to your physique to the touch, together with legs and arms. 
  • Touching her abdomen to extend the sensation of enjoyable and closeness. 
  • Brow to brow 
  • Brushing away a lock of hair or wiping a mysterious eyelash from her cheek. 
  • Placing your finger on her lips in a “Shhh, you had me at hey” second. 
  • Pulling her nearer by the belt, or waist, in a show of dominance 
  • Putting your hand on her, holding fingers, or taking part in together with her fingers to extend intimacy 
  • Eskimo kissing, or rubbing your nostril on hers
  • Cupping her chin along with your hand; helpful for bringing her her nearer for a kiss
  • Working your fingers by means of her hair
  • Enjoying footsie underneath the desk
  • Giving her a again, hand, neck, or foot therapeutic massage
  • Wrapping your arms round her waist or shoulders from behind. 
  • Carry her legs and lay them throughout yours. This works greatest once you’re sitting. Really, that’s the one means it really works, until you’re a genie
  • Touching her ass: That is greatest once you’re hugging or making out. Be sure that she likes you first
  • Kissing and making out is nice enjoyable for everybody 

Should you use your creativeness when imagining the best way to contact a woman, there’s no restrict, so long as she’s into you. 

What if a Woman Rejects Your Contact? 

Should you attempt touching a lady and she or he rejects you, she is going to both transfer her physique away or inform you so. 

In that case, there’s no must apologize. Simply lean again, and keep on hanging out as if nothing bizarre occurred. If she’s extra snug and attracted afterward, you possibly can attempt once more. 

Contact is a strong instrument for connecting romantically with girls. It’s actually as much as your creativeness all of the methods you possibly can contact a woman – with out creeping her out. 

Simply to recap: 

  1. Contact is confirmed by science to extend attraction and set up a dominance hierarchy. Should you’re not touching, you’re doing your self soiled. 
  2. Touching is a standard a part of human interplay
  3. Contact is just not bizarre until you’re feeling prefer it’s bizarre
  4. There are a lot of methods to the touch a woman, and this text simply explains a couple of
  5. Should you make a mistake, you possibly can attempt touching her once more later when she’s extra snug and attracted

Should you appreciated this text, go away a remark and I’ll make a component 2 for extra superior methods.

  1. citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/doc?repid=rep1&kind=pdf&doi=5460c02eab1f5291d0a79edced4b7040d408f120(opens in a brand new tab) ↩︎

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