17th April 2024

It’s time once more for “Expensive Wendy Updates,” a function the place folks I’ve given recommendation to up to now tell us whether or not they adopted the recommendation and the way they’re doing now. Right this moment we hear from “Caught in Wanderlust,” a man who retired early and liked to journey rather a lot however was relationship a lady who nonetheless labored full-time and has a child and couldn’t accompany him on his journeys fairly often and didn’t like him touring with out her. The LW contemplated whether or not it was time to interrupt up or hand over journey. His replace under.

Late summer season I/we determined prime have a small break, and I travelled to Italy and Switerland. My girlfriend didn’t have any break day and stayed residence. We missed one another so we then began relationship once more in September, with per week lengthy trip in Ghent and Antwerp Belgium. We had a good time. She had used up all of her trip time for the yr, so I used to be making smaller day journeys across the space, plus staying at her place. (She lives 2 hours away from me). So I used to be cooking and cleansing and purchasing whereas she labored.

After a number of days of this I wanted to get again to my very own place. This cycle went on for a number of weeks. An extended journey to Bali was within the air, however we averted it. We had been speaking extra about Christmas, I wished to go to Spain for a number of days, however she wished us to rejoice together with her household ( which we did final yr). I assumed each had been doable. She stated, “I’m value greater than only a romantic weekend occasion and trip girlfriend who you cook dinner for and meet up with your pals. I need a day by day routine, with my accomplice. I would like kicthen desk dissussions, I would like us to buy at Ikea collectively, I need a regular life.”

I knew it was a warning from her, however I threw within the towel. It’s tough for me to be homebody. I stated: “You have to go and discover somebody who will cherish you greater than I’ve. I did my finest, nevertheless it’s not what you need and want.” Since then, we despatched one another a textual content or two, however we gained’t be getting again collectively. I’ve since recored some new songs with my band, I’ve been to Lithuania, and can go to Bali for 2 months early subsequent yr. Your recommendation was right. Ultimately, we’re not suitable and now we have totally different objectives. I really feel higher alone, much less stress and expectations to stay as much as. Chalk one up for Wendy:-)

 
Thanks for the replace, and I’m glad you acknowledged that this was a relationship that wasn’t assembly both of your wants and received out earlier than issues received ugly. Appears like you have got a full and enriching life, and if sharing that life with somebody makes it even higher, then I hope you discover the proper accomplice in time.

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In the event you’re somebody I’ve given recommendation to up to now, I’d love to listen to from you, too. Electronic mail me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a hyperlink to the unique publish, and let me know whether or not you adopted the recommendation and the way you’re doing now.
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